If you haven’t already, make sure you clap eyes on our Ultimate Guide To Military Slang. Because let me tell you… These popular military phrases are on ANOTHER level.
Right, without further delay..
Let’s begin
1. ‘Pssst.. you’re on Sentry’
A quiet way to tell your oppo that it’s his turn to lay in a puddle with the GPMG at 3am. (Navy)
2. ‘Pssst … Hey mate … You’re on stag.’
Another way to wake up your mate who is fast asleep and get him to dress in wet rig. (Army)
3. ‘**** off, I’ve just come off mate, next basha along..’
Standard reply for number 1 & 2.
4. ‘Start switching on’
Often used by senior ranks and physical training instructors to tell privates to stop being stupid.
5. ‘Mag on stag on’
A subtle moan about guard duty.
6. ‘I was in the dead ground when you were in the playground’
Old sweats telling you how much of a crow/sprog you are.
7. ‘Chad as your dad on rollerskates’
Hard to explain this one…
8. ‘If it aint raining – it ain’t training’’
Some knobhead always comes out with this whilst everyone is wet.
9. ‘The ******* ****** is ******* f**ked.‘
Yup, it’s broke. Hopefully you didn’t sign for it..
10. ‘take control of your bodies’
PTI’s telling you to stop crumbling into a heap after your 324th press-up.
11. ‘When the pin comes out the end, Mr grenade is not your friend’
Don’t forget this one…
12. ‘Shit, shower, shave, shine?’
Hopefully in that order?
13. ‘USE THE ******* SEARCH FUNCTION’
A junior rank is a mong with technology.
14. ‘don’t buy a telly or a car, save all your money and pvr.’
Old Ryhm – Save your money and get out ASAP.
15. ‘Get off the ******* grass!’
The Adj caught you slipping.. (again)
16. ‘Get off my ******* square!’
A polite way of a Drill instructor telling you to leave the parade.
17. ‘Get off my ******* wife!’
At least you are not on the grass…
18. ‘Do it nice or do it twice.’
Do it properly the first time or you’ll be doing it again!
19. ‘March there, it will save you walking.’
Someone has a hard-on for drill and they want to see you march.
20. ‘Work smarter, not harder.’
Green tape on EVERYTHING.
21. ‘Don’t confuse your rank with my authority.’
Salute everyone, just to be safe.
22. ‘Will you accept my punishment?’
You’ve been AGAI’D (Minor punishment) ask for a solicitor and say “no comment”.
23. ‘Press up Position ……… DOWN’
Incoming “BEASTING”.
24. ‘Watch and shoot, watch and shoot’
A target is about to pop up down the range. The crow next to you is going to shoot your target, so just relax.
25. ‘**** off out of my office and march in properly………(often followed by)…………****!’
Yeah, you’re f**ked.
26. ‘Last one round the building and back here….’
It’s a fun game really, just don’t be last. Grown men racing each other should be an Olympic sport..
27. ‘THE NEXT C*NT WHO (insert undesired activity here)….’
A collective debrief by someone who is extremely annoyed, let’s hope it wasn’t you.
28. ‘Well next time, plug the ******* iron in, you look like a ******* soup sandwich’
Blah blah blah, another bollocking.. Just make sure the Iron is PAT tested.
29. ‘If any of you cnuts think i sailed up the Thames on a ******* banana boat…prepare to be educated….’
This person outranks you and I actually can’t wait to hear what comes next…
30. ‘I’VE GOT A MOUTH LIKE GANDHI’S FLIP FLOP’
Cotton or dry mouth.
31. ‘Can anyone drive a Land Rover?’
Put your hand up if you love work.
32. ‘Oxygen thief’
Someone is stealing oxygen again, usually a crow or undesirable civvy.
33. ‘Last one back does it again’
It pays to be a winner…
34. ‘Twice round my beautiful body. GO.’
Inspirational quote from a PTI who got bullied at school.
35. ‘All four corners of the gym. GO’
Another inspirational quote from a PTI telling you to touch every corner of the gym.
36. ‘We can do this the hard way, or the ******* hard way.’
Why is there never an easy way in the forces? PS. Standby for beasting
37. ‘HEY!!! Ugly. Not you, you’re ******* ugly’
You are the chosen one.
38. ‘Kangaroo Court’
The worst justice system invented… Ps. You are guilty.
39. ‘Press the thumbs down, lock the elbows, swing those arms SHOULDER HIGH!’
You are bashing out drill on the square, your mind melted by the Drill Instructor
40. ‘Anybody got a fag?’
Three weeks in the uhlu with a week to go, you have 200 smokes secreted about your person and you’ve just become the richest man in NATO.
41. ‘there’s two things in life that really **** me off………..and you’re both of them’
You’ve pissed off a Senior rank. (again)
42. ‘Not now, right now.’
You have been caught loafing…. (again)
43. ‘Yaft height yaft height’
A commonly used marching phrase.
44. ‘Stores are for storing’
That’s right, the storeman won’t give you a thing… His Ebay store is popping off though.
45. ‘If you don’t start swinging them arms I’m going to rip them off and beat you round the head with the soggy ends.’
You didn’t follow the phrase in number 39.
46. ‘No chitty, no pity’
The PTI waiting for the creature from Lord of the rings to come forward with a biff chit.
47. ‘I’ve got rockets in my pockets and wombats in my combats….sir’
A declaration to clear you off the range?
48. ‘You’re in your own time now’
The task carries on.. just in your own time
49. ‘I’ve got a job lined up when I leave the army and I’ll earn £2000 a week’
Goodluck fella
50. ‘hurry up and wait’
Wake up at 0500, be at the armoury for 0600 Draw weapons at 0800.
51. ‘ARMS, HEELS, Neck in the back of the collar’
Another way for the drill instructor to tell you how to walk smartly.
52. ‘that will be a crate’
Spotted on TV or some other media (FORCESBible) now you owe the lads a crate of beer.
53. ‘ONE ******* sausage.’
The fat Sodexo chef wants to take the other sausage home. So you get 1
54. ‘**** right off’
When “F*ck off” isn’t enough.
55. ‘Do you see that tree out there on the horizon…?’
The person saying this phrase wants you to go and touch it as fast as you can.
56. ‘f*ckn civvies’
Civvies are annoying..
57. ‘f*ckn civvies’
F*cking annoying.
